I think it`s the not seeing that KILLS me. I wished he was still residing in Sg, then that would make it all easier. But unfortunately not. He has aged so much since my grandma passed away 3 years ago. I TRULY CANNOT imagine how he lives every single day, knowing that the person he loved and spent almost more than 60 years with will NEVER ever return. Slowly, I got used to it but there are days, even till today, when I secretly go to the other room in the middle of the night, & I open the closet just to get a whiff of her clothes. & the familiarity overwhelms me so much sometimes that I just recite a prayer for her, sit & cry helplessly & then allow myself to get lost in that moment.
the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. that death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.
- the five people you meet in heaven by mitch albom
My heart just dropped each time I hear him wake up so many times in the middle of last night. I know, because I was awake as well. I no longer see many smiles on his face & it truly hurts me. I guess that when the love of your life leaves you eternally, life goes on but somehow, it loses meaning. We attach ourselves so strongly to people that when they`re gone, a part of us is gone too.
His health has been deteriorating & though he`s so far away & only comes over like once every 5 months, sometimes I wish I could do so much more. I couldn`t help but get all so teary-eyed when I kissed him before he went away just now. & before Dad drove off, he teased my brother and I could see that he was getting all teary as well. God knows what was going through his mind. & when Dad finally drove off with him in the front seat, I just stood helplessly for a moment & before I knew it, my brother`s eyes were red as well. Here is an 11-year-old boy, who only thinks of nothing but play, but seeing his red eyes just got me thinking that he is afraid as well. Life`s so darn fragile. It truly is. There`s TOO MUCH at stake & you just can`t afford to be picking fights with everyone, hurting them, hating them, losing them & not treasuring them.
& Dear God, I really wish you`d put me off this emotional rollercoaster because I REALLY feel like I`m on the brink of depression. One more disappointment or heartache, & there I go. I can`t stand this fragility any longer. I really, really, can`t.
the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. that death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.
- the five people you meet in heaven by mitch albom
My heart just dropped each time I hear him wake up so many times in the middle of last night. I know, because I was awake as well. I no longer see many smiles on his face & it truly hurts me. I guess that when the love of your life leaves you eternally, life goes on but somehow, it loses meaning. We attach ourselves so strongly to people that when they`re gone, a part of us is gone too.
His health has been deteriorating & though he`s so far away & only comes over like once every 5 months, sometimes I wish I could do so much more. I couldn`t help but get all so teary-eyed when I kissed him before he went away just now. & before Dad drove off, he teased my brother and I could see that he was getting all teary as well. God knows what was going through his mind. & when Dad finally drove off with him in the front seat, I just stood helplessly for a moment & before I knew it, my brother`s eyes were red as well. Here is an 11-year-old boy, who only thinks of nothing but play, but seeing his red eyes just got me thinking that he is afraid as well. Life`s so darn fragile. It truly is. There`s TOO MUCH at stake & you just can`t afford to be picking fights with everyone, hurting them, hating them, losing them & not treasuring them.
& Dear God, I really wish you`d put me off this emotional rollercoaster because I REALLY feel like I`m on the brink of depression. One more disappointment or heartache, & there I go. I can`t stand this fragility any longer. I really, really, can`t.
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