http://yatanokagami.deviantart.com/art/Crying-11354482I think waiting kills everyone. You don`t know what to hope for anymore. You know the issue has got to be resolved quickly and not be prolonged. You`ve been surviving on a diet of hope for the longest time that it`s beginning to eat you up inside & you die a little more each day, no matter how much you tell yourself to remain optimistic. You wait & you wait, because you know it IS worth waiting for. You just know it. You want to end the pain & worry for the other person because you know you`ve hurt him way too much and at the same time, you just wish everything painful would stop. But when the moment of truth is out, it either makes you a really happy person or it breaks you. When it makes you, you see everything in the world in all shades or hues of colours. When it breaks you, you lose yourself, you slip away, you breakdown easily & your heart is so cracked that you start to see cracks in everything as well, even in the things you enjoyed doing or in the people you love.
I have meant everything I`ve said and expected too much in what I`ve heard, in what I`m not even sure of the outcome yet. & that`s why it`s killing me. It`s always a case of 'too much' for me. I`ll sleep on it again tonight & give our hearts one more chance to change our minds. Hanging on, holding on. Sometimes when it gets so tough, I just wished my heart would cease beating. But I also remind myself that that`s not gonna make my loved ones happy. I musn`t be egocentric & tactless.
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