I hate how pissed & upset I am over this entire issue yet at the same time I just want him to hold me close & wipe these stupid tears away. & we`ll yell at each other for being so foolish & then we`ll apologise sincerely & we`ll make out like there`s no tomorrow. I don`t know how he drives me this manic emotionally AND physically. & I hate how my heart has turned so cold and how it keeps denying his existence already yet at the same time it is crying out for love & affection from him again. Something tells me I`ll hate my 19th and the week before my 19th, which is this week and the week of my 19th, which is next week. & something else tells me to stop hating. Because I don`t really hate. & he`s a habit I can`t kick.
Stupid. I wish he`d return soon. I don`t know when but just do it SOMEDAY.
[edit] yes Sann, i want my phone to ring unexpectedly today too.
Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.
Stupid. I wish he`d return soon. I don`t know when but just do it SOMEDAY.
[edit] yes Sann, i want my phone to ring unexpectedly today too.
Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.
In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.-
Meredith Grey, Grey`s Anatomy
No comments:
Post a Comment