I was on the phone with a friend a while ago. Well, let`s just say this friend used to matter ALOT to me, but things happened & we weren`t as close as before. She went her way & so did I. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. Mmm, anywaaaay, it`s been ages since I last talked or even read her blog. What happened was enough to allow hatred to creep into my heart. But I built a wall. Somehow, over time, the wall just crumbled on its own.
I do think of her occasionally & sometimes, only sometimes, about the person she stole away from me. When she did that, she did not realise that she robbed me off my sanity & ripped me apart because that person meant the WORLD to me. One of the very few guys who have actually created an impact on me deep enough to make me say I LOVE YOU and mean it. Because it`s not my nature to utter the 3 words. Words, like Nazir says, are sometimes unnecessary. Well, I`ve moved on, so it`s alright. Perfectly alright (: I don`t dwell. & i`m just glad they`re sailing their 3rd year together with relative ease (:
I do think of her occasionally & sometimes, only sometimes, about the person she stole away from me. When she did that, she did not realise that she robbed me off my sanity & ripped me apart because that person meant the WORLD to me. One of the very few guys who have actually created an impact on me deep enough to make me say I LOVE YOU and mean it. Because it`s not my nature to utter the 3 words. Words, like Nazir says, are sometimes unnecessary. Well, I`ve moved on, so it`s alright. Perfectly alright (: I don`t dwell. & i`m just glad they`re sailing their 3rd year together with relative ease (:
So we talked. It was nice, a little awkward initially, but it was alright after that. She claims she senses changes in me. Well, people change. Over the years, I`ve mellowed down. Especially my ego. It still exists but I know it`s not as huge as it used to be. No one has to vouch for that because I know myself well. Some actions of mine depict that change without me realising. It`s only after a while that I realise it & say, HEY I DID THAT. DID I REALLY DO THAT? WHERE HAS ALL THAT EGO GONE TO? But well, I`m not complaining coz it`s for the better of me. & all that anger, being short & hot-tempered, yes, i still have those traits, but I can say that I`ve learnt to sit, breathe & think rationally. Again, actions of mine have depicted this. I`m still learning. There`s always room for change & self-improvement.
Oh well, I`m finding love for myself in my heart again. I`ve always been in love with myself. This time, I`m falling deeper. & I`m not complaining. Each day, when I look at myself in the mirror, I tell myself that I really am strong, that I am an audacious girl. The only person who has the liberty to bring me down is myself.
Matin`s mum cancelled tuition today. Looks like my night is available. Some ME time with a good book. Sounds good. But I feel like going to the playground. HAHA. This is like the perfect weather for that.
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