stuck in reverse

http://porceliandoll.deviantart.com/art/helpless-57484763

I was just reading my past entries. & this one stirred all the emotions in me again. God, I need to snap out of this, really.

25 July 2007
Someday when we`ve been together for a very long time, we'll turn out the lights and sit around in the balcony. You`ll finish my sentences and I`ll borrow your glasses, we`ll wonder where the time went. And at night we`ll roll to the middle of our old bed into each other`s arms where we`ll kiss and hold each other and dream the secrets that only old lovers know.

I don`t know, really. This painful longing smothering my soul is just draining the life out of me. I need to get out of this rut SOON. & i really need a sign because I`m so afraid of making the wrong decision. I really am. I don`t know what I`m waiting for, really, when he`s probably moving on just fine right now, not thinking about me, about us anymore. & that sucks. It really does.